Looking back in time

I have to tell you all that I'm so happy that I've started really writing in this blog regularly. I'm looking back to my post from January 15, 2010 (I believe) and it's my public confession that at the time I just joined Weight Watchers and planned to do a weekly update regarding my health and fitness routine. I want to get back to that point where I'm excited to share with everyone my gains/losses on a weekly basis. But ugh, it's SO HARD to tell everyone your weight. Why is that? It's just numbers. And to most people they don't mean anything except compared to their own weight which we all know is relative based on your height and body fat percentage.

I don't have much of a focus to this blog yet, although I know about a year ago I really wanted to make this a weight loss blog, I didn't really have a clue how to make it just about weight loss and still have people read it.

The fact of the matter is, although I've done great in 2010 I still have some work to do and given that I am 6 months away from my wedding, I should really be cracking down on my diet and exercise. I have been "stuck" at this weight for probably 4 or 5 months now which is a huge bummer, but at the same time those numbers are getting slightly lower.

Since I told you all my real weight a few weeks ago, I'll let you know the absolute lowest I've been lately is 150.0 which is incredible but I just can't seem to break through that 150 barrier. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Like a stupid number is somehow preventing me from getting to where I'd like to be. After the last few weekends of parties, drinking and eating, and another one of those coming up this weekend I am frustrated yet motivated at the same time. I'm frustrated that a weekend of drinking and eating pushes my weight up about 3 pounds or so which I know is mostly water retention and it's going to be gone in a few days, but at the same time, a lot of it is that I overindulged and I am sick of doing this yo-yo between those stupid 3 pounds and I just want to break through that barrier.

This is where the critics say "don't worry about the number on the scale but how you feel in clothes". Well the number is an arbitrary goal, yes, but my clothes haven't changed much in the last 4-5 months either, even with the addition of a regular weight training regimen.

Bottom line is, I need to get in gear. There is a skinny bitch in me that's screaming to get out and I want to meet her.

I have to say that my exercise is on point, I have never worked out so much in my life. I spend typically an hour in the gym every day M-F after work. This includes light weight training but mostly cardio due to the lack of variety of weight equipment. (excuses excuses) Am I overtraining? That can't be right... Am I eating too much? Or not enough? Believe it or not, you need to eat to lose weight (sorry if you're anorexic but it's not gonna work... although it will kill you).

It's like I'm struggling constantly with the WHAT AM I DOING WRONG part of my brain. Then I think about the ice cream cones, the chocolate covered pretzels, the cheese dip, the pizza dipped in ranch dressing and I figure... oh, that's why it's not working. Although I know that the future skinny me does get to eat pizza and that will therefore be a part of my regime during my weight loss journey because I need to continue sustainable weight loss, I just need to be more conscious of it, perhaps I don't need that third slice. Perhaps I just need to be more mindful. Perhaps I need to push through and make future me happy, specifically the future me on July 9th because she'll really appreciate all the work that past me has done.

MOTIVATED MOTIVATED DOWNRIGHT MOTIVATED!

So starting last week, the fiance and I decided to weigh ourselves weekly and share our weight with one another. On Thursday last week I was 153.0, tomorrow I hope to share a different number with you all, a lower one perhaps?

Well I'm going to the gym tonight. Then on my train ride home I'm reading The Amazing Adventures of DietGirl, I would like to shout out to the author Shauna, one of the hosts of Two Fit Chicks and a Microphone, another podcast I highly recommend. My workout will include 35 minutes of running on the treadmill and then lifting until it's time to make my train, which is about 25 minutes.

A new addition to my blog is now my Daily Mile calculator which tracks my fitness in miles and shares with you fine people. There is a "Send Elizabeth Motivation" link that should be tested to see if it works, hint hint. I love you all, thanks for keeping me focused!