Sitting Up

We have a baby sitter. I mean a baby who sits. Not a baby sitter just yet for those date nights...

How does this kid not fall over? Seriously, he's solid.

Nolan has started at his new day care! Jamie is awesome, and I can tell he just loves playing with another baby all day long. It's just Nolan and Maddie so I know he's getting a lot of attention.

Although I have to admit, last night was not one of my favorites. After a series of nights of little to no sleep, I decided I needed a break and slept in the basement where it was quiet. Of course this decision was made in the middle of the night when I'd just about had it with the crying and I needed a break.

This was finally the straw that broke the camels back where I decided that I need to do whatever I can to get more rest.

To be honest, I thought I was against the Cry It Out philosophy. And who knows, maybe I still am. But at this point, I'm embracing it. I'm planning on starting to let Nolan cry it out so he can go to sleep on his own and I can get some much needed rest.

Simply put - I just don't think I'm being the best "me" when I'm not rested. And after 6 months of sleep deprivation I'm finally putting my foot down. This includes probably stopping breastfeeding (a concept which has honestly had me at odds with myself for months now) and doing formula full time along with baby food.

Weaning from breastfeeding is honestly one of the most emotional decisions I'm struggling with at the moment. Of course IN the moment when my baby is screaming and I can't get him to sleep all I can do is think "that's it, this is over!" and just letting Brian take over more of the night feedings. (if there should be night feedings at all, but that's another story)

The hardest part of the CIO thing is the opposition to it. The GUILT placed on mothers who aren't doing everything according to The Perfect Mother's Guidebook to Being a Sanctimommy Douche Canoe. Honestly, anyone that has a negative opinion about it can fuck off. You don't know what's best for me and my baby. And maybe if I had the resources to to hire help while I stayed at home and napped all day I could do it. But I honestly don't.

So yeah, what started as a light hearted blog has turned into a guilt fueled angry post that makes me stabby.

The "Bummer Box"

There is a big plastic tub in Nolan's closet that I like to call the "Bummer Box." It was aptly named for the feeling I get when I put an item of clothing in there... 

It's the place I store the baby clothes that he has already grown out of so I can make room for appropriately sized clothing on his hangers in the closet. 

So this cute outfit:

Goes into the bummer box when Nolan looks like this:

Bursting at the seams... 

The sucky thing is that he only wore that onesie once or twice before he grew out of it! 

I go back thinking that I wish I had him wear this more often, but that's not all I'd change. Now if I could do the last 6 months over again, I would take those fun pictures each month with the fun stickers saying how old they are, maybe even do a fun picture every day and make a video of his growth over a year. 

When he was that little I just couldn't picture him actually growing so big. Now he's almost 6 months old. And I already feel like there's a million things I'm doing wrong! MOMMY GUILT. 

So I vow to take more pictures, to read more books, and to play with him while he's this little. Because soon enough the rest of his clothes will be in the Bummer Box and I will be taking him to college.

{almost} 6 months!

Dear Past Elizabeth:

ZOMG the next 6 months of your life are going to contain some of the best (and even some worst-ish) moments of your life.

Obviously, your life is totally different. Sleep is a thing of the past. It's been replaced with a noisy little baby who is always happy to see you. The smile on Nolan's face will light up your heart in a way you never knew possible. I wish I could capture that smile that Nolan gets on his face when he hasn't seen you for a long time. I wish I could, but cameras just don't work fast enough - and even if they did, it still doesn't make you feel that connection when Nolan locks eyes with you.

I'd say the worst of it all is the sleep deprivation. Which I have to say, I'm kind of getting used to. Sure you've amped up your coffee intake by like 300%, but at least you're able to function. And no, you may not shower as much as you would like...

Your baby is almost 6 months old! And you're almost 30. This is a pretty darn good time to be alive*

Of course life is more than just the fact that you're a new mom, although it's pretty hard to distinguish your life beyond that. It's just so exciting to finally get to hold Nolan. He is so worth it, I absolutely promise you that!

But um yeah, you're turning 30 now. Brian seems to think it's all a big joke and likes to poke fun at the fact that you're a little bit older than him even though he's the one who's sporting at least one gray hair. Personally I think 30 is just a number but we'll see how I feel when someone refers to me as "middle aged" or something like that. At least people will start offering me a seat when it's standing room only, yes?

Tomorrow night, Brian and I are going on a real live date. He's even skipping the Cyclone basketball game and everything to go to a hibachi steakhouse to celebrate the last days of my 20's. In hindsight, I should have planned a trip to vegas or something. But we've got a trip this summer going to Seattle so I've got that going for me.

For the first time since WAY before Nolan was born I went to the gym and "ran". Here was what happened at the end of it all:

That's a 14.4 minute mile in case you're wondering.

I've got a lot to do before my Soldier Field 10 mile run in May. Word on the street is that we may purchase a treadmill or elliptical to put in the basement so that I can actually work out instead of having to make it to the gym. And lifting a 6 month old who is gaining weight daily totally counts as resistance training... at least for a while that is, then I need to get back to the weight training too.

Sounds like we're going to have a big group going to do the run too. 5 people total, including myself. That means I somehow found 4 people who are equally as crazy that me. Although one of these people has run a marathon before so she totes is crazier than me.

I also ran a 5k last month which resulted in a near amputation of my toenail. It's clinging for dear life. For the purpose of keeping this blog safe for work I'm not posting the picture of it, although you're free to ask and I'll email you the gruesome image of my toe.

Macklemore was there!... kidding

Keep on working out and you will make that 10 miler your bitch.

Ok, that's all she wrote for today. Below are some pictures of the cutie patootie of the family. :)

*it's literally -5 degrees out right now so that's saying something

He used to be in a sling within this bathtub. He's growing up so fast!

Favorite Christmas Present fosho. His jumperoo!

A certain awesome blogger may have given Nolan a present a while ago... I couldn't get a better expression on his face than this... but then again, it doesn't get much better than this.

He fell asleep in my arms. He looks pretty comfy right? It's so hard to put him in his crib when he's this adorable.

Look at that cute little grin. I have a feeling that's going to be his "I did something bad but I'll get away with it if I just flash this smile" smile.