Gangsta

On my last day of work before maternity leave I got kicked out of my desk because they're working on some electrical stuff so I'm in the student computer lab #represent.

As I'm officially 2 days overdue, I'm definitely still excited but kind of anxious because nothing appears to be happening right now. I've felt what I thought were contractions for days now but nothing to show for it. Tomorrow I have my big appointment with ultrasound/NST/midwife and I'm going to talk to her about an induction date.

40w2d - still in prematernity pants!

My mom has been in town the past few days because I've been pretty convinced something was going to go down as early as Saturday. She's been AWESOME with Nolan and helping to keep my house clean. Both Brian and myself could use a little work in keeping the house tidy. I'm sure she's annoyed at having to revert to her role as my mom in MY house but she's keeping a smile on her face. We even ordered pizza last night, which, teenager me would have loved. If I treat my mom like teenager me would like to be treated, we're doing ok right?

Today, Nolan is at daycare while my mom goes and visits some people from home. I still feel like no matter what the structure of daycare is really good for him. And it gives him an opportunity to interact with the other kiddos and burn off energy! Since I've been zapped for energy since he was born it's really good for him to channel his energy into some productive play and art time.

BONUS: Asked someone for a kleenex in the computer lab (at the student helper desk, not a random) and she didn't have any. When I walked back to my computer everyone was looking at me like I have 2 heads.

What? You've never seen someone about to explode before?

Due Date Smue Date

January 25, 2016

Today's my due date! This is freaking exciting... but also an extremely frustrating time to be a human.

This weekend I could have swore up and down something was going to happen! My contractions were starting to feel like something bigger than BH contractions. There was a "wave" of adrenaline or something that I would feel just before the tightness started. They were anywhere between 5 minutes (AHH) and like 15 minutes apart.

Remembering from my birthing class - which I only took when I was pregnant with Nolan because I thought I'd remember it all for this time and I didn't have the time to take an entire day to go to a class - that we're supposed to wait until the contractions are long and strong and down to get the friction on before going in to the hospital.

Since I'm still on this side of labor, I can definitely tell you it's way more fun when your water breaks and it's like a fire drill when you're like "it's go time!" There's no timing any contractions when your water breaks, it's just time to get to the hospital and you're on the fast pass to getting admitted and STAYING there.

My last day of work is Wednesday - thank goodness - because I'm not sure how much more of this I can take! Thursday I have booked a looooong day of midwife/ultrasound/NST appointments (per the suggestion and routine of my midwife practice). So I've got that to look forward to! And I suppose that I get to celebrate a 3 day workweek this week (or less... please let it be less).

So let me tell you about my week, cuz since I last updated it hasn't been wonderful.

Windows:

My new window delivery and installation was scheduled for Wednesday last week. Turns out they ordered the windows 3/4" too wide! SONOFABITCH. Our windows are NEEDED to replace the ones that are literally rotting into mulch. I was hoping that we'd get this all taken care of because the baby's room is one that will also be replaced. So apparently we're on the top of the queue for the building of this next set of windows... but we ordered these in October so pardon me for being a bit frustrated to have to wait to do this longer.

Plus sides:
-It will be slightly warmer when they install (I mean, it has to be, right?) so the house won't get as cold as if they did it last week
-While I was home for the install, I noticed the temp in my house was 10 degrees colder than what the thermostat was set for... which means I called the heating guys and brought them out that afternoon to tell me... we have to get a new furnace...

Furnace:

Hear me out, the new furnace thing wasn't exactly a plus - but finding out about the problem when I did made it possible for us to go without heat in the house for 2 days as opposed to probably waiting over the weekend for a new furnace to be installed and waiting for our pipes to freeze or something.

But alas, we did need a new furnace and therefore are spending roughly $4k to keep our house warm (we've got some rebates coming to knock the final cost down to about 3k though).

Plus sides:
-More energy efficient furnace, maybe cost savings will be seen over the next year?
-New thermostat that you can customize a lot more than the one we used to have which will definitely translate to cost savings

Speeding Ticket:

Yup, this is exactly as stupid as it sounds. I don't even want to get into it but I got a fatherf*cking speeding ticket yesterday. Last ticket I got was well before I got married, I want to say at least 6 years ago...  $114 down the drain on top of having to pay for the new furnace.

Plus side:
Eff that noise, they's no plus sides for a speeding ticket!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHH #thankstrump

Until next time, friends... send labor vibes!

At least I got the expectant mother parking spot at the mall! 

The Baby's About Done Cooking

EEK, I'm 39 weeks 1 day pregnant.

This is seriously such an exciting time in my life right now. There's all the "what is that?" drama of contractions and ahem "water breaking" incidents. My favorite thing right now, since they're not painful, is the "is that a real contraction?" feeling I get every once in a while.

Since I'm not really in any particular hurry to have this baby other than the fact than I want to meet him, I have to say the "is this it?" drama really bodes well with me. My inner kid on christmas morning feeling floods my heart when I wonder if that weird pain I just felt was a real contraction.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. But I get to have fun timing them none-the-less!

If I have time to think about it then it's really exciting. And by time, I just mean if I happen to have my phone handy and my contraction timer app at the ready.

Right now I've been feeling something but that could be any number of things including but not limited to:

• Baby stretching, dancing, and bumping his head in the lower reeg thus causing a little twinge

• Gas pains (oh lordy)
• Contractions?????? MAYBE?????

One thing's for sure... I am definitely having braxton hicks contractions. But whether or not they're indicating early labor is still up for debate.

The pain I've been feeling is similar to what I remember with Nolan, but I could be projecting that pain on what I'm feeling and just associating them together. I definitely feel a weight on my stomach when I'm standing up which usually turns into a contraction. I feel tightness when I'm walking which also gives me that lower pain. All of it could me nothing or it could mean something... I dunno.

But I'm 39 weeks 1 day pregnant. 6 days away from my due date!

 

It's also worth mentioning that the entire fam has been sick as a dog in one way or another for about a week. Nolan got a terrible stomach bug (we all got the flu shot so I don't think it was officially the flu) on the night of my birthday. Around 11pm we were all awoken by Nolan throwing up... poor little man! Brian and I thankfully each took care of our respective roles in getting him and his room back into shape for him to sleep later. Brian took care of the sheets/laundry while I took Nolan in the shower to clean off his hair and body from the yuckiness. It was a pretty smooth parenting situation if I do say so myself. Each of us just kind of took care of different things without really discussing it which I am quite proud of.

I decided to stay up with little man, giving him whatever he needed (mostly cuddles) until we were both ready to fall back asleep. Then I win the Macarthur Genius Grant for laying down not one, but two layers of towels on the pillow and bed underneath Nolan and then cosleeping with him until he woke up again to vomiting. The vom got on the towels!

Poor little man wasn't up for much the next day having a slight fever and all so we took to watching cartoons and basically did whatever he wanted to do. We stayed home from work/daycare on Monday/Tuesday to keep the other kiddos safe.

Then of course Friday morning I got sick with whatever Nolan had... or probably what he had. I woke up in the 3:00am hour feeling nauseated and I attributed that to a small dinner I had the night before and considered myself hungry. If I ate a little something then maybe the nausea would go away.

Well it didn't. And I got sick. Barely making the toilet.

You know what's fun about being 38 weeks and some change pregnant and puking your guts out? Absolutely nothing! I was a mess all day scared shitless that I was going to go into labor feeling that sick. I spent the day drinking water and gatorade and taking baths. Thank goodness labor didn't start then and now I'm a few days released from that pain and agony and now I'm back on the "this baby could come any day now" excitement train.

Did I mention I have a f&*(%**& cold now?

Send labor vibes!

The Other Two Week Wait

The Two Week Wait (TWW) is so ubiquitous when it comes to actually making the baby that it's hard to believe that I'm on the other end of the TWW. For perspective purposes, the two week wait is when time slows down to a standstill and you have to wait an eternity to take a pregnancy test. The TWW is often abbreviated to 9 or 10 days, especially when you're impatient like me.

Well here we are... on the other end of the TWW where I'm 38 weeks pregnant and +/- 2 weeks away from having this little man! For my own sanity I hope that it's tonight that he decides to show up because the other TWW symptoms are also pretty monstrous.

Trying to get up from sitting down:

You think... maybe you're in labor... ?:

This... umm happened to a friend of mine.

When the doctor makes you pee in a cup smaller than 1" in diameter and your visibility is 0.
I can't even find a gif or image that wouldn't get me in trouble for googling right now... sorry.

What I love about this time is also what I hate about this time: the not knowing. When I had Nolan I had a dramatic water breaking incident that, luckily, was confined to my house and not in public. But it was so obviously my water breaking that I knew it was time. Brian and I hustled out of the house quickly and made it to the doc because when your water breaks you don't need to time contractions until you're 5 minutes apart and yadda yadda yadda.

Now I'm in the not knowing stage again. I am HOPING for a water breaking incident but not counting on it.

I've got 12 days until my due date. Nolan was 2 days late. I've been given no indication that a previous baby's arrival will effect this baby's arrival... so really we're I can't even make an educated guess.

Send labor vibes my way, people!

Thanks to Kate from The Buggy List for planting the TWW idea in my head nearly 3 years ago now!

Paging Dr. Google

First of all, I'm exhausted today...

I woke up this morning thinking I need some coffee so I got me my regular DD medium coffee with sugar. They done messed it up or something because it was NOT the DD coffee I've grown to know and love. The magic wasn't there... so that was disappointing. I tried drinking it and in the morning it was meh but after lunch it was downright Starbucksy.

I'm currently at 19 days until my due date but within the 3 weeks prior to my due date that everyone pretty much would say my baby is safe. So to me that means it really could be any day now that baby decides to show up.

In comes the symptoms...

So I went over to another office on campus to pick up these EXTREMELY heavy banner stands and then wheel them across campus. They have wheels, thank goodness, but it's like I was pulling a body behind me. Super heavy weight, but on wheels. Anyways, what should happen? Painful contraction? Braxton hicks... maybe? It was painful though and different than my regular BHCX (braxton hicks contractions for future reference). It happened several times while pulling this thing behind me and I honestly was getting excited! These weren't like gas pains or anything, the pain was all local to the reeg where contractions would be felt so I of course had to call upon Dr. Google.

And so it begins...

I googled "difference between BHCX and real labor" and "what do contractions feel like?" because I can't remember yesterday let alone 2.5 years ago when I had Nolan.

Annnnnyways... that's fun.

Note to self: Make sure Brian starts carrying his phone on him during the day. I texted him about the fake contractions over 2 hours ago and he hasn't responded yet.

This Time Around

Oh it's going to be so different with 2 kids. So much harder in some ways but at least I can look forward to the fact that Brian no longer has to drive 45 minutes each way to work and that I can text him to pick up cereal on the way back to the house.

The biggest difference with maternity leave this time around will be that it's not just me and baby. It's me, baby and a toddler that wants to watch "ow-vees" [movies] or listen to "ow-zic" [music]. I have resigned myself to making sure Nolan continues daycare for at least 3 days a week if not completely full time at daycare. It's honestly just too hard to think about having Nolan and a little baby without the help of another adult! 

Speaking of a difficult toddler... Nolan was really difficult yesterday when I took him to a big brother class that the hospital offered. I'm giving the little man the benefit of the doubt that he started a new daycare that day after 11 days off with me for holiday leave. I'm sure it was just exhausting getting to know the new kids, playing with the new toys, getting to know the new teacher, etc. But the poor kid was NOT having the class. It was like I was trying to rip his skin off and start him on fire. 

I had to snapchat shame him by sending a video of Nolan trying to escape the room while screaming. The other parents looked at me with that "I've been there" smile. Although I'm sure many of them were like "can't she handle her kid?" which I might be projecting but I seriously was embarrassed for the tantrum heard round the hospital. 

We ended up leaving a little bit early because of this which bummed me out. I was really hoping he'd take advantage of the baby dolls and listening to the woman tell him how to change diapers etc. As we were leaving the woman instructing the course says, "try and get him in the next session" which I suppose I could do but I definitely will have a baby by then since they only offer the course once a month. 

Sorry to toddler shame you, Nolan!

I have no idea if when I'm old or after I die that Nolan and new baby will ever read this blog... I do sometimes cloud what I write with only positive experiences and hide the negative. I feel bad writing stuff that isn't really all positive about Nolan right now, but at the same time he really did have a long day and I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. When we got home he really wanted to be held. Well first he wanted to be naked (his MO) and then he wanted to be held. I know that means that he just didn't have the energy for the class that day and maybe if it were next week and he had a chance to get acclimated to the new daycare he wouldn't have been such a naughty boy. I cuddled with that little man in between other tantrums he was having. 

It's hard to be a mom some days, but then there's the moments where the kiddo just shows you pure love. I know he's my little man and he might be a stinker sometimes but he's MY stinker and I'm so lucky. 

So Future Nolan, if you are reading this, then I'm sorry for shaming you. You're definitely worth every tantrum. 

37 Weeks and Term

So 37 weeks means that I could have this baby annnny day now and theoretically everything is well developed and ready for the outside. I'm guessing this little man is just going to pack on the pounds before making his entrance.

Maybe more importantly on this day I need to talk about how Nolan started a new daycare this morning. I have to admit that it was MUCH harder for me than it probably was for him, but I know he wasn't having the best time as I was leaving this morning.

Brian and I both decided to take him into daycare this morning so that Brian would get to know the lay of the land at the new place. When we brought him in, Nolan saw the kids in the playroom and he kept shouting, "Friends... Friends!!!" It's because of that I know he was going to be just fine... but of course Brian and I hugged Nolan quite a bit more this morning and talked to him about the toys in the room and asked him if there was anything he wanted to play with. Really he only wanted to be hugged by us and it was just heartbreaking to leave him.

I can't wait to leave work today and pick him up and get the longest, most satisfying hug ever. These days are just far too long.

Just before going to a new daycare, however, Nolan and I did enjoy 11 work-free days in a row together for the holiday break. That's definitely something I feel like I can take advantage of year after year. Maybe next year I'll take even more time off to get a longer break with little man/men.

What I'm looking forward to right now (besides baby) is Saturday! It's my birthday and I'm going to get a prenatal massage and facial! I'm so freaking excited for these appointments as I've booked them MONTHS ago. I don't spoil myself much anymore because I have to adult and save money so I'm cutting out the pampering but my birthday is an exception. Be jealous! I'm excited!