This Time Around

Oh it's going to be so different with 2 kids. So much harder in some ways but at least I can look forward to the fact that Brian no longer has to drive 45 minutes each way to work and that I can text him to pick up cereal on the way back to the house.

The biggest difference with maternity leave this time around will be that it's not just me and baby. It's me, baby and a toddler that wants to watch "ow-vees" [movies] or listen to "ow-zic" [music]. I have resigned myself to making sure Nolan continues daycare for at least 3 days a week if not completely full time at daycare. It's honestly just too hard to think about having Nolan and a little baby without the help of another adult! 

Speaking of a difficult toddler... Nolan was really difficult yesterday when I took him to a big brother class that the hospital offered. I'm giving the little man the benefit of the doubt that he started a new daycare that day after 11 days off with me for holiday leave. I'm sure it was just exhausting getting to know the new kids, playing with the new toys, getting to know the new teacher, etc. But the poor kid was NOT having the class. It was like I was trying to rip his skin off and start him on fire. 

I had to snapchat shame him by sending a video of Nolan trying to escape the room while screaming. The other parents looked at me with that "I've been there" smile. Although I'm sure many of them were like "can't she handle her kid?" which I might be projecting but I seriously was embarrassed for the tantrum heard round the hospital. 

We ended up leaving a little bit early because of this which bummed me out. I was really hoping he'd take advantage of the baby dolls and listening to the woman tell him how to change diapers etc. As we were leaving the woman instructing the course says, "try and get him in the next session" which I suppose I could do but I definitely will have a baby by then since they only offer the course once a month. 

Sorry to toddler shame you, Nolan!

I have no idea if when I'm old or after I die that Nolan and new baby will ever read this blog... I do sometimes cloud what I write with only positive experiences and hide the negative. I feel bad writing stuff that isn't really all positive about Nolan right now, but at the same time he really did have a long day and I am giving him the benefit of the doubt. When we got home he really wanted to be held. Well first he wanted to be naked (his MO) and then he wanted to be held. I know that means that he just didn't have the energy for the class that day and maybe if it were next week and he had a chance to get acclimated to the new daycare he wouldn't have been such a naughty boy. I cuddled with that little man in between other tantrums he was having. 

It's hard to be a mom some days, but then there's the moments where the kiddo just shows you pure love. I know he's my little man and he might be a stinker sometimes but he's MY stinker and I'm so lucky. 

So Future Nolan, if you are reading this, then I'm sorry for shaming you. You're definitely worth every tantrum.