I hate...

I hate that every outfit I buy for Nolan going forward won't be seen by Lynn...

I am going through some serious retail therapy right now and just spending money like crazy. I know no amount of money I spend will bring her back but right now it's sort of helping me at least have something to look forward to in the short term.

I hate that any future child(ren) we may have will never meet their grandma Lynn...

It's like the possibility of happiness has sunk down a few notches. There's one fewer person who I know would be over the moon for us and love our future kid(s) just as much as we do.

I hate that if she knew how much pain we were all in I know she wouldn't have done it.

I hate thinking about her in her coffin...

I hate that I think that if she died any other way it would have been easier for all of us to handle.