Son of a mother fudge biscuit carp eating shitake mushrooms!

#)*@#)*(&&&^$^$^*@*@(@#((#(#($(*%&$)#(*&

I was planning on posting a "my first day back at work" post before I'd ever have to post one about this.

I THINK I have a high lipase issue with my breastmilk.

What that means is there's an enzyme in my breastmilk that breaks down the milk, even at low temperature (read: frozen), that makes the milk essentially sour, rancid, soapy, or metallic.

I'd categorize mine as both sour and rancid.

Come with me while I tell you a tale of a mother of a newborn just trying to feed her baby and excited about making a freezer stash!

I haven't counted how many ounces I have saved, but it was more than enough to easily take out a couple of bags to make 4 4-ounce bottles to take to work yesterday. See, I took these photos thinking I'd make a great blog post out of them. MOTHER FRICKER.

I still am tripping over the bags I have in the freezer. At least 15-20 in there with about 2 ounces if not more in each bag.

SON of a BRATWURST

16 ounces of liquid effing gold right there. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUdgeCK

ALL GARBAGE.

ALL. OF. IT.

[excuse me while I punch a hole in the wall]

GAHHHHHHRRRFFFFFFFLLL

Yesterday around 4:00pm, after doing relatively well at work, I got a call from daycare that my poor little man hadn't eaten ALL DAY. By the time she called he finally relented and drank 1.5 ounces of what can only be described as milky VOMIT. My poor baby must have been starving.

I'm so mad I didn't smell it when I thawed it. And before you ask, it was under 24 hours since the milk was thawed. And I sampled like 3 other bags to see if they also tasted rancid, and yes they do. THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Well, with the exception of a bag that I stored on 4-12-16. So maybe not ALL of my milk is bad but it may as well be. Mystery time!!! Why did my 4-12-16 bag taste fine? Had it not been frozen long enough for the enzyme to take over?

Before I go any further, I want to really drive home the point that I tasted it and realized it had gone bad yesterday around 6pm. I still taste it in the back of my throat right now.

I. STILL. TASTE. THE. BAD. MILK.

SON OF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

So yeah... I'm going to have to pour out my milk for my homies, or I'm legitimately thinking of making soap with it.

RIP milk - Hardly knew ye

In memoriam