All The Things

My life is consumed by Nolan. It's so great!!

I know it's silly but it's hard to really put into words what's been going on recently.

I think the long and short of it is that my heart is overflowing. I sometimes look at Nolan and he'll start smiling at me and it just brings tears of happiness to my eyes. It's so hard to think of life without him. He's seriously just such a good boy!

Looking forward to the future, I have decided that we need to have semi-regular care for when me and Brian want to have date nights. So today for the first time ever I'm conducting an interview of sorts with a girl that I am hoping will be our babysitter! She's a sophomore in early childhood education so pretty much perfect. I hope that we can build a good relationship so that she'll be around for the next few years while Nolan grows up!

I'm meeting her today for coffee... it kind of feels like a blind date. I feel so nervous! What if she doesn't like me? What if I seem like an overbearing mother who can't leave her son without a novel of instruction to follow? Will Nolan like her? Will she be a good babysitter? How much do we pay her????

In all reality though, Nolan is a really good baby. He really doesn't cry much at all. As I look at him right now on his activity mat sucking on his pacifier he looks like he's just going to fall asleep. Those eyes are just open a sliver. Eventually he'll give in to the heaviness of his eyelids and close them completely. That's another one of my favorite things to watch him do. Just giving in to the sleepiness.

This last weekend Nolan met Christian and James! It was so much fun. We all went to Iowa City and my siblings were all there and he had his first 2 nights away from home. Previously he spent one night away from home at Grandma Lynn and Grandpa Eben's place.

Next week I am "looking forward to" Nolan getting his vaccinations. I say "looking forward to" because I know that they will help him boost his immune system and therefore be healthier overall. But I am NOT looking forward to him being in any sort of pain from injections.

Such a cute napper! If only he could do this without being held...

Visiting Great Aunt Lavonne

Loving his activity mat!

Killin' it at Tummy Time!

Our first restaurant outing with a waitress! (Hickory Park)

Napping with Uncle C!

Just playin'

Mini Brian and Regular Sized Brian

Mama having a little fun time without baby (Grandma Becky was watching him!)

Just looking super fly!

Looking at Daddy during Tummy Time!

Nolan Eben Salton!

Wow, it's really been a while hasn't it? I've said it before, and I hope I can keep my promise this time but I really will be updating here more often!

That said, obviously if you know me in real life (or many of you in my online life!) you'll know that I had a baby almost SEVEN weeks ago now!

Tired mama + screaming baby = MAGIC!

Nolan Eben Salton was born on July 14, 2013, at 2:11 pm at Mary Greeley Medical Center. He is officially the new light of my life. The past few weeks have been such a whirlwind! I can't believe that he's already here, let alone that he's already 6 weeks and some change.

Since being born, I have been on maternity leave. I decided to take the full 12 weeks off (per FMLA) meanwhile I'm jealous beyond belief for England and their maternity leave policies (up to a year PAID). My sleep has been sporadic at best and I now know why sleep deprivation is a torture device.

But more than anything, Nolan has been amazing. I've probably said, "you're such a good boy!" and "I love you, little man" more times than I can count.

Nolan is a very calm baby. He really only cries when he needs something. Some babies are colicky and I feel very fortunate that Nolan isn't crying constantly. It helps make for a more sane mommy.

At 6 days old we took some awesome pictures of him and I'm so glad we did! Here are some of my faves:

Since then he has met almost all of his immediate family. Grandparents, aunts, uncles (besides Christian... that's happening in about an hour though!), and several friends have dropped by.

He has gotten SO big. He was born at 8 pounds 4 ounces and he definitely is more than 10 now. I wouldn't be surprised if he's 11 pounds already.

The little guy is just SO cute. I often find myself thinking, "Oh my god, he's just so f*cking cute" and then remembering that I'm a mom and can't drop the F*Bomb anymore. *tiny violin*

Probably the best thing that's happened recently is that he's starting to smile! I can't believe it!!! It's one of the cutest things in the world. And when he smiles, it's for real. No longer are they the "gassy smiles" that you'd see when he was little(r). And he really lights up my day when he smiles at me. It's just genuine happiness. I finally caught him smiling on a picture yesterday, sorry for the quality but he's a wiggle worm and it was taken on my phone.

Could you just melt??

So far, Nolan hates Tummy Time, but I'm trying to get better at making him do it throughout the day... he doesn't have a flat head (in case you were worried!), he is using cloth diapers and they make him look like he has dumps like a truck (what, what?), he makes the cutest sigh/exhale when I can tell he's actually asleep, and his arms are always hanging out over his head.

Oh, I forgot. My favorite newborn thing he does is with his feet... he just pulls his knees into his chest and kicks out. I know it's simple, but he does it over and over again and it's honestly the most adorable thing. I have tried to do it myself, and if I could master it the way Nolan has, I'd have a 6 pack by the end of the hour.

LOVE LOVE LOVE! Once again, I WILL update more often. Now that he takes longer naps and I kinda know what I'm doing I think you'll see more frequent posts.

Lost Potential

I'm stealing this from a newsletter that I receive... but to give it context it has been one year since I found out that my baby was no longer growing. This has been a really hard few days so far. For the most part I've been doing ok but having anniversaries come up can be really painful.

As an aside, if you know someone who has ever gone through a miscarriage. Stop pretending like it didn't happen. Sometimes the best thing you can do for them is actually bring it up even if it is painful. It's nice to know that people other than myself remember. Not talking about it doesn't mean we've forgotten, it just seems like you have.

Lost Potential

"Last year I attended a workshop presented by a specialist in grief named Dr. Cable. Dr. Cable said many important things about the grief process, but as a bereaved parent one thing stuck out in my mind. He said that if you ask a bereaved person to describe his deceased mother, he will say, 'Oh, she was so sweet. She always wore flowered dresses and loved to bake cookies.' But if you ask a bereaved parent to describe their deceased child, she will say, 'Oh, he would be five this year and just starting kindergarten,'  or, 'She would be twenty-two this year and graduating from college.' You see, we bereaved parents grieve the lost potential of our children. Our children don't stop growing up in our minds. We grieve again and anew each year as our child would have been a different age."

Chris Anderson, The Compassionate Friends, Walla Walla, WA

Summer Time And The Livin' Is Easy

It's SUMMER TIME as far as I'm concerned. Living in a college town has it's perks... for instance - I think it's HILARIOUS to drive down the main street in my town and hear drunk people fighting. I seriously do. I'm just glad I don't live on those streets hehe (but then again, they're absolute dumps so pretty much ONLY students live there and I'm sure they don't care).

To clarify, I mean couples having those "nothing" fights that Dane Cook jokes about. You can bet I drive a little slower down the street if I see a couple about to break up over the fact that the dude said hi to a girl he's known since kindergarten. ALL windows are down. I don't care if it's -20 degrees. This needs to be heard in surround sound.

Of course with students comes traffic. And lots of people in line at Target... and other minor inconveniences such as the fact that the bathroom at work is extra dirty because I share it with the students who take classes in my building.

But it's summer time. The first weekend after moveout.

Ho.Ly. ShARt. It's a different world and I love it. I can turn left onto busy streets without waiting for 25 minutes for a tiny clearing of cars!

But I digress.

Probably the best thing about summer working at the university, is SUMMER HOURS. 7:30-4:00. We come in earlier, take a shorter lunch, and leave earlier.

Today is the first day back to summer hours and I must say my body has not yet adjusted to that extra half hour less of sleep I got. So yeah, that's pretty much the point of today's post.

Also, I have less than 60 days til due date. (58 to be exact)

WHOOOMP WHOOOOMP!

Iowa Not So Nice

Pardon my french, but WHAT THE FUCK, Iowa?

It's May 3rd. Last week this time I was over the moon with the 70 degree weather we were experiencing, and just earlier this week I was outside wearing shorts and flip flops. Today there is accumulation.

And yes, it is STILL snowing.

View from my office... Enlarged to show texture.

This weekend is supposed to get warmer and we're going to get rain...

Ok, I get it. You're playing a joke on me, yes? Hahaha, you win. It was funny now...

Oh Uncle Joey, somehow you bring light to everyone's life*

*excluding Alanis Morrisette