Tuesday, June 5, 2012

New Patterns

Yesterday was a strange day. It was 2 weeks since I found out about the miscarriage but I think I managed to make it through the entire day without crying. The day was still really hard on me but I tried to make the best of it. I put in a full day of work and got a lot accomplished (which in itself is an accomplishment). After work I went to get acupuncture and got my back/neck aligned with a chiropractor. Finally I finished the day with a Group Power class, which is basically a resistance training class. I was super easy on myself and didn't put on a whole lot of weights but I'm still feeling it this morning!

At the end of the day I filled up my bathtub, complete with Bath and Body Works aromatherapy bubble bath (I want to say spearmint?) Then I crawled into the bath and successfully read the first story of 20 in the book "About What Was Lost"


I assume all of the stories will be very relevant to me in this time... the first story was about a woman over 40 who miscarried, she trusted her boss with what happened and he ended up telling the entire office. I could totally relate. Although she didn't get into what happened with him I definitely enjoyed reading her story and how she and her husband got through the loss and went on to have a healthy baby just a few short months later.

I think this could be a good pattern for me... fill up the tub and have quiet reading time. Allow myself to cry if necessary but also just reading about other people and their experiences and gain perspective on my own. I know I have a lot to be thankful for even though this time of my life is, excuse the language, pure shit.

This Thursday I have my follow up appointment from my D&C. I hope to get the "you're all healed up" schpeel. Regardless, the standard wait time for "trying" again is about 3 months after a procedure like that. Although I'm not 100% sure why... my only guess is they want to make sure you're extra super healed by the time you're carrying a baby. Garsh - well that makes sense...

PSA: Whenever I do get pregnant again, watch out. I'm likely to be about 150% more crazy you've ever seen me. I literally mean CRAZY... Like Gary Busey in Black Sheep crazy. 


3 comments:

  1. "I know I have a lot to be thankful for even though this time of my life is, excuse the language, pure shit."

    I've been reading your blog the past few days. When I read this statement...i knew I had to say, "thank you". I have felt this way every days the past 9 weeks since I lost my twin girls.
    Everyone tells me...."it was meant to be", "you will get pregant again soon".... I don't believe any of it. I just can't. Not right now.

    What I do believe...that we...are stronger than we EVER imagined.

    Thank you...for being so honest. Keep writing....it's helping, more than you think.

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  2. Thank you for commenting and saying such kind words. Honestly as I blog I really just spew whatever is on my mind at the moment and rarely take the time to edit so it means a lot that I'm actually helping someone!

    Please keep commenting and if you have a blog you'd like to share then I'd love to read it!

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  3. I know what I'm getting next for my Nook!!

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